A Mystery As Yet Unsolved

A Mystery As Yet Unsolved

I met an old friend the other day. I call her that, but really we were friends only because we were often thrown together through mutual friends. During the time I knew her best, she was married to a man we uncharitably called “the golden child”. He was really rather ridiculously handsome. You don’t often see his kind occurring in nature.

He was the ideal kind of tall, well muscled, tanned and fit. Wavy blond hair, blue eyes, a cleft chin. It was silly, really, to look at him with a critical eye. It really could not be done. I suppose he was smart. At least he was smart enough not to talk very much. I knew without a doubt that his spectacular looks had taken him far in life already. Maybe he knew better than to speak and break the spell.

This woman, now his ex-wife as I had predicted all those long years ago, was about a year older than he. Really a cute girl, though not as beautiful as he was handsome. But she was very sweet and smart, gregarious, and ambitious for her husband to do well – she had personality enough for two.

She also worked hard. They had graduated from college together, then she worked and paid for graduate school for him. His future was assured and he had been able to move from one high profile job to another with no missteps in between.

I always thought she probably offered career guidance as well as beautifully ironed shirts and sorted socks.

The problem was she always looked older, more tired, slightly askew. In short, they just didn’t match very well.

I predicted they would divorce, of course. I gave them five years and I hear they made it a little longer than that. He remarried a flashier, younger woman and they have a perfectly perfect suburban life somewhere. Now his first wife looks like an even older, more tired version of the woman I used to know. She didn’t mention remarrying or any children. I suspect she didn't have the heart for it. Maybe she had poured all of her love and attention into him. Perhaps no one else would do.

I’ve seen this several times, where a man latches on to a woman early in his life, allows her to pay his way, sort out his life, give him adoration and then he’s gone. I suppose it happens the other way, where the woman benefits from this kind of attention, but I just haven’t seen it on the hoof, so to speak.

This brings me to the mystery that remains unsolved - the questions that scream for answers. Is it possible to be honest enough to see this coming and then be able to get out before this vampire ruins your life?

Is there such a thing as rational thinking when the heart is involved? I truly do not know. I am not sure I could be that…what would be the word…clear eyed (perhaps that’s it) about myself.

During a courtship, do we even try to predict the future? Do we understand what someone’s motives might be? I simply do not know.

It may be that we are so eager to hear the words of love that we believe everything we hear. It may even be that this man’s motives were pure – perhaps he did love her, at the beginning. There can be no doubt that he loved the adoration he saw shining in her eyes.

And she saw her Prince Charming. That they did not live happily ever after was not for lack of trying on her part.

(Before you get your panties all in a twist trying to figure out who I’m talking about…this is an amalgam of several people I know…and several more I’ve observed. I’ve already fuzzed up the details and made them unrecognizable. So don’t even try. And, to further confuse you, sometimes part of the charm is all about the potential future. Doctors, lawyers, rising newsroom stars all have their own “beauty”.

But my questions are real. I do wonder about these things. And I’ve seen it often enough that it’s worth the wonder.)