Cue the Music from “Jaws”

Cue the Music from “Jaws”

DA-dum, DA-dum, DA-dum. Something is about to happen, maybe.

“We” are now starting to change my anti-seizure meds. I’ve mentioned this before. Dilantin is hard on one’s liver and other bits and pieces. I have a sentimental attachment (if nothing else) to all of them and so it’s time to move to another drug.

I have very mixed emotions about this. The med cocktail I’ve been on for this year and a half has kept me seizure-free. Occasionally cranky, sometimes tired, with surprisingly hairy toes and overgrown gums – but seizure-free.

And so it is now time to go from the sort-of known to the assumed. My neurologist , who is splendidly enthusiastic and inclusive, says “we” are going to move from this drug to that, and “we” are going to monitor what happens, and “we” are anticipating an excellent outcome.

I love the idea of “we” as an inclusive pronoun for something that is going to happen to one of the people in the conversation. I remember an old joke of Daddy’s that ended with something like…”or do you have a mouse in your pocket?” And a horrible Lone Ranger joke where the Lone Ranger and Tonto see thousands of Indians coming up over a rise and the Lone Ranger says, “This looks like trouble for us, Tonto”. Tonto says something like, “What you mean us?” Which is clearly a joke from another time but absolutely captures my meaning.

And so this week I’ve started the transition, adding another anti-seizure med to the cocktail I take every day. And I’ve been watching myself to see if anything is happening. If there is anything more boring and unproductive than monitoring yourself, I’ve yet to find it. Especially when you are on a bunch of meds with the same side effects profile. Shall I look for more of what I’ve already got?

One thing is certain, I should not be operating heavy machinery – all the package inserts agree.

Otherwise, I think everything is fine. I think. But this is like being alone in an old creaky house. Or waiting for the other shoe to drop. Or hearing someone breathing behind the draperies in the library.

Something might be happening. Now take that to bed with you and have a nice night. Sleep tight.