Of Tittie Bars and Shaved Heads

I apologize in advance. This may be NSFW (depending on where you "W") but I just feel I must.

By the way, spell check only recognizes “tittie”…I had planned to go with “titty” but who am I to judge?

My son and his fiancée are visiting this weekend, and the talk turned (as it will do) to tittie bars. (OK…I’m just fooling with you. This subject rarely comes up.)

I was opining that I do understand that male sexuality is centered in the visual, and so going to a bar with women in various stages of undress does make some sense to me. But here is where the problem is. These patrons, after being suitably intoxicated, seem to think (or at least they are acting like it) that these women are hot for them, or flirting with them (sincerely), or are in some other way having the same response they are having.

Which, of course, is nonsense. These women are working at this club for all of their own reasons (paying the rent, the babysitter, the drug dealer, etc.), but what they are NOT there to do is find a loving man who will Take Them Away From All This.

They know it. Apparently the men don’t. And so the men yell and scream and get off on the theater in their heads, the fantasy that these women are hot beyond description (which I would suggest they are probably not, when seen in bright lights and sober) and are equally turned on and excited.

I should note that these are the same men who are unsure whether their wives, girlfriends, or lovers are faking orgasms.

Now, let’s discuss penises. First, let me say that I am against shaved heads, especially when men do whatever it is they do to make them shiny. Some men have better-shaped heads than others, but they really never look like anything but a dick. Or a thumb.

At least, if you are going to shave your head, do not wear a turtleneck sweater.