While We Are On the Subject of Bosoms

Do you know who always had bosoms? Old Blisters. (For those of you who don’t know, an Old Blister is a woman of 50 years or more of a nasty or hyper-critical personality.) My sainted father was wont to say, upon sighting one, “Look at that Old Blister. I’ll bet she’s on her way home to make some poor son of a bitch’s life miserable.”

I love the notion of an Old Blister. I’ve known plenty of them, and I’ll bet you have, too. In the Daddy Lexicon, there really wasn’t a good male equivalent, usually just a “nasty son of a bitch”.

While we are on the subject of the Daddy Lexicon, I will share a few other terms with you that you may find helpful.

Joker: noun. A male who is not as offensive as a nasty or stupid son of a bitch, but who is never the less worth looking at. As in, “Look at that silly Joker.”

And we did.

Jelly: verb. What jokers do. “Look at that stupid joker jellyin’ down the street. “Jellyin’” looks exactly like you think it does. Usually done by young men, moseying down the street with nothing on their minds.

Whore’s Dream: noun. Any particularly colorful person, place, or thing. “That looks like a whore’s dream!”

Sartorial Jackpot: Any dramatically colorful outfit. “Look at that crazy son of a bitch. That outfit is a sartorial jackpot!” A joker or old blister was often in this category, as well.

Chirk: verb. As in “that will chirk you up” and make you feel better.

My father was a man of vivid language. Never profane, just descriptive. He loved talking about the people he saw and the places he went. He was also endlessly patient and kind, even with people who didn’t reciprocate.

I was in college before I found out that not everyone (actually, no one) used these same terms.

And I was the only one who ever received, by mail, a case of canned peaches because I told him I was hungry and hated dorm food. It chirked me right up.